"A radically more-efficient society of compact communities with a variety of transportation choices, green buildings and smart infrastructure, run off an only slightly-improved mix of energy sources might be more sustainable than a society that continues on our current path of increasing sprawl and waste but uses twice the proportion of clean energy that it does today."

ocean of existence
where to even begin
i feel without time and space
floating on waves of consciousness
filtering through my life

no longer in a band. i have a pile of broken instruments in my redwood paneled room.
still exploring sound when i have the time.
doing lots of school; physics, environmental engineering, geospatial mapping, physical geography, social ecology, grantwriting, economics of a sustainable society.
so i can be permaculture visionary.
volunteering at the united indian health center sometimes. they have an organic garden, and if you help out they kick down veggies.
living next to cow fields
made a geodesic dome out of bamboo and wire. its covered in plastic to grow a garden in. its pretty. sometimes it collapses when it rains.
welding some art sculptures to one day sell. gems of machined steel from the scrapyard, fused in geometric and futuristic ways.
staying sober, learning traditional chinese medicine
was vegan for a year.
it made me very cold and hungry.
all things in moderation.
getting into rock climbing

recent internet doings of mine





may or may not check this for a long time

last post before today ---> 48 weeks ago

looking back on my previous posts makes me want to delete this whole journal. it sounds so self righteous/egotistical/angry/depressive. i feel like saying saying sorry for being so confused/negative/psychotic sounding, everyone.
nowadays i aim to respect my body and my community, i use my energy to try and send out positive vibrations to the universe, & on the whole i feel far more integrated than alienated...

but what was was and what is is because of it; i would not be here now if it wasn't for everything that it took to get me here, in this moment. in all i am extremely grateful for being alive, and for all the opportunities and lessons Ive had these 22 years.

if any one is reading this and would like to find me- zestela@gmail.com
hope you are all doing awesomely

Peace and Energy, much Love

I have always been into collecting information from all different aspects of life. I love to learn, understand and study the world in all its aspects. For me a huge transition in my life began with going from possessing awarenesses in different fields of knowledge to realizing the inherent interconnectedness of them;

((Example: My experience IS biology, which IS chemical bonds, IS physics, IS electromagnetic radiation, IS the dance of life, IS time unfolding, IS evolution, IS social, IS natural, IS the earth that I eat, IS the sun that powers it, IS the emptiness of space that gives it a place to exist, IS the ecosystems that we depend on, IS the blood in my veins, IS the rivers and springs, IS the ocean, IS elements from interstellar explosions, IS 99.9999% empty space between a sea of quantum particles that display certain tendencies towards existing, ad infinitum))

Upon conceiving of all systems as being inter-related, boundaries then further dissolve. You are left with the commonalities, what these systems share - things like dialectics, the flow of energy from high to low, chaos, order, energy, temporality, expanse, repetition, iteration, rhythms and cycles - the things that govern/unite all systems.

The realization comes that this nexus of systems was one thing all along and that we just split it up different ways because thats how we choose to understand it- for a variety of reasons (human perception, popular thought, convenience, etc).

Thinking further on this fusion, this One Thing must then have the following traits: it is intelligent, ever-changing, infinite, self-aware, exceedingly complex, cohesive, self organizing, without limits boundaries and rules, older than time, bigger (and smaller), than anything we can perceive, everywhere and nowhere all at once... sounds spiritual.

It's not a white bearded man in the sky that tells people what to do. It's not a set of rules and regulations. It's not a diet or a prayer or a way to sit or a place to go, and its certainly nothing to enforce.

It's everywhere, and with It is the freedom of knowing your life is an integral part of the cosmos, and It comes with the ability to compassionately identify with the all of the other 'parts' as you participate in the dance of time towards the creation of the future.


Ape Wizard plays NORML day

doesn't really start till 5 or 6 minutes in. some good nuggets in there.

one really good section is from 16:30 to 27:00!!

bucky fuller sez:
We think popularly only in the terms of a chain being no stronger than its weakest link, which concept fails to consider, for instance, the case of an endlessly interlinked chain of atomically self-renewing links of omni-equal strength or of an omni-directionally interlinked chain matrix of ever renewed atomic links in which one broken link would be, only momentarily, a local cavern within the whole mass having no weakening effect on the whole, for every link within the matrix is a high frequency, recurring, break-and-make restructuring of the system.

go on and marinate on that shit for second

(no subject)

each strand of his hair was really insect eyes

check it

i dont have too much to say these days
keep up the good fight
stop watching tv
dont eat babylon food, or you will one day regret it. OrGanic all the way
do crazy drugs
set yourself free from the shit of this world
listen to the sound of liberation
and if you are so blessed, create it
this is an extremely pivotal time to be on planet earth
but thats why we're all here

dont ever let anyone get you down

ape wizard is the new wave of musica
i will post recordings soon

peace love unity


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